by blogadmin 5. June 2015 03:14

We’ve all heard the famous saying, “It is not a question of if we will have conflict, but when.” It’s important to equip yourself with tools and strategies to face conflict when it inevitably arises, whether at home, at work, or elsewhere.

The book Crucial Accountability (Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler) lays some great ground work for what it looks like to confront issues in a healthy way. One of the many great tools in this book is called CPR. CPR stand for “content,” “pattern,” and “relationship.” The authors suggest that the first time a person fails to fulfill a promise or responsibility, you discuss “Content”. The example given in the book: “You drank too much at the luncheon, became inebriated, started talking too loud, made fun of our clients, and embarrassed the company.” In the “Content” phase, you confront a single incident, discussing what happened here and now and how it affected those involved.

The second time an offense occurs, “Pattern” becomes the focus of the discussion. The next example in the book is: “This is the second time this has occurred. You agreed it wouldn’t happen again, and I’m concerned that I can’t count on you to keep a promise.” In this step, the authors warn not to fall into discussing content. The issue isn’t solely that it happened, but that it’s happened again.

The final step is “Relationship”. Discuss how this continuing issue is effecting your relationship with the other person. Their failed promises have caused you to lose trust, respect, and the ability to count on them to do what they’ve promised.

Practice using the CPR method the next time you are faced with failed expectations. These simple steps will bring you confidence when dealing with repeat issues. 

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