Many times, when you meet someone new, they will say, “tell me more about yourself.” In response, we often share details such as where we are from, if we are married, or where we work. This information is helpful, but it does not communicate who we really are and what we value.
Knowing facts about you is helpful, but that knowledge only goes so far. People will not trust you or follow you as a leader by knowing where you went to school, if you are married, or grew up in a certain place. Those factors are just data about us but do not really communicate fully who we are.
Identity goes deeper and involves our values, how we think or feel, and what we are passionate about. It goes to the core of who we are and what we stand for even when it is not convenient. Our identity gives meaning to our lives and relationships. It draws people with similar values to us, allows them to follow and trust us, and be confident in how we will make decisions and define success.
Our identity is like our fingerprint. It is unique to us, embedded in who we are, and part of the fabric of our lives. As an example, my grandfather lived in a small town in northern Michigan. Even when he retired, he loved to create handmade gifts to give to others. At times when he was working on something he would need something from the local hardware store. He would walk in, pick up the item he needed, and tell the clerk to put it on his tab. Now this was after the days when that was common, but he could do it because everyone in town knew that if he said he would pay for something, he would–often within just a day or two. Being true to his word was important to his identity and he treasured the fact that he had earned their trust.
What is important to you? How do you want others to define your identity? Being true to our identity is the beginning of wisdom and leadership. There will always be pressure to compromise the principles we live by, but it is never worth the cost to do so. Over time, acting in ways that are not consistent with our values will change who we want to be. When faced with decisions, consider whether that decision will confirm and align with your identity.
